DISCOURAGED and GRATEFUL

Brogans recovery from his surgery is not going as planned!  

What else is new right?  

The doctors really thought that after his surgery he would be able to digest his food really well and get the heck out of that place by next weekend, but once again we have lost sight of when he is coming home!  

This is how our week has gone:

Tuesday: started feeds with pedialite, which from what they tell us tastes like salt water!  

YUMMY! 

 Brogan did fantastic with that, which made us and the doctors very optimistic.

Wednesday: increased his volume and and mixed half breast milk and half pedialite and he did terrible with it!

Thursday:  Doctors decided to give his gut a rest and made him NPO(no food) for a day.  

Also they decided to put a huge tube down his throat to relieve pressure in his tummy and he was so miserable.  I have never seen my baby boy so upset and he has been through alot of uncomfortable things!  Cade finally got the doctors to pull that sucker out and he was so happy!

Friday:  Another day of pedialite, they started him out with a bigger volume and he did great all day!  Hardly any residuals (food pulled out of his tummy to see how he is digesting) and not spit ups.  Well come to find out he threw up twice in the middle of night so they stopped his feeds again.

Today:  Still NPO!!!!  They will do x rays tomorrow morning to see how his tummy looks and they will decide from there whether or not to start feeds tomorrow...  

I just have to say this is a never ending vicious cycle....  On feeds off of feeds, on feeds off of feeds, he get hungry, fussy and miserable and there is nothing we can do for the little bundle!  As parents Cade and I have been beside ourselves, we waited for so long for his surgery to happen and now that it has it feels as though we are right back where we started with him not being able to digest his food!  We are so ready for our beautiful boy to come with us but it feels as though we are never going to get there!  We have felt so discouraged, defeated and mostly heartbroken!

I do realize we have been so blessed, he was 11 weeks early and they only thing we have had to overcome is his gut issues.  He could have had heart, sight, hearing and many other developmental problems, so in that we are so grateful that he is so healthy, he just came way too early!  

I know Cade and I are going through this trial for a reason, I so badly wish we could know why?  

However

 I do know that every prayer, plea, and thought about our little Brogan has been heard!  I know that  our savior feels every bit of pain Brogan has endured.  I know that our savior has felt every bit of heartache Cade and I have felt.  I am so grateful for such a beautiful family and the knowledge that we can be together forever!  I cannot begin to explain the love I have for my sweet husband, he is hard working, supportive, the best daddy and I cant imagine going through this time in our lives without the Priesthood in our home!  I am so grateful for the gospel in our lives, and for the knowledge and comfort it provides!  Even though it has been a rough week,

 I love my amazing family and my wonderful Life!